Selfish

by Parkwood

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1.
04:23
2.
04:53
3.
02:48
4.
04:07
5.
04:14

credits

released September 1, 2016

Recorded by Eric McNelis of Sleep Audio
Mastered by Dave of The Gradwell House
Thanks to Sean McCall of Breaking Tradition

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Parkwood Hammonton, New Jersey

Jorge
Nick
Flannel
Brandon

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Track Name: It Gets Old
It’s been a long time coming since all of this
The outcome of this situation is a result of my sins
So give up on me
I'll only let you down

Wear me out like you always do
Cause we both know you always loved to
And I can't seem to let go
And at the end of the day I'm still alone
It gets old

It's a shame I never found you
You were buried in your pride
You've always had your way with words and I've always had mine
They always said
We were both one in the same
But the difference between you and I is I've changed
And you've stayed the same
I guess old habits are hard to break

Cause I'm a lost boy
And you're better off alone
Than to be with someone who's a constant disappoint to everyone he knows
Track Name: Home
Don't wake me up
I'd rather sleep all day than feel the sun
Don't wake me up
I can't feel a thing yeah I've grown numb

This ain't no home
I've grown accustomed to the things I don't know
Where will I go
I lost sight of everything I know

And I've been growing angry deep inside my bones
I've lost interest in your existence

This ain't no home
I've grown accustomed to the things I don't know
Where will I go
I lost sight of everything I know

Christmas Eve at nineteen, I was writing a couple letters for you
To let you know how much I appreciate you,
every little thing you do for me, but it seems that I can't do enough
I struggle giving happiness to those that I love
And so I sat there
next to my window
with a bottle
thinking should I just end it all
Track Name: Heavy Daze
Weary eyed
Tired mind
I've lost my patience this time
Always distant
Lost in transition
I'll be just fine

Where to go when there's no place left to hide
When the only progress you've made are the holes in your mind
Anxiously dwelling on all you've left behind
Keep a cold heart and a steel spine

Fill my grave with what remains
Empty heart
A shallow fate
I lost my way
Heavy daze take me away
From this goddamned place

Where to go when there's no place left to hide
When the only progress you've made are the holes in your mind
Anxiously dwelling on all you’ve left behind
Keep a cold heart and a steel spine
Track Name: Deathbed
There is fire in the words we speak
and every time I breathe in deep
I can feel my lungs collapse into my chest cavity

You can't run away from the things you say
They'll rot your insides
I've been losing faith in the mess I've made
Will this be the end of me now
I'm down and out
I'll lie in this deathbed I made for myself
I guess I'll reap what I sew
I guess I'll reap what i sew

I am fighting a war
I am fighting myself
Heavens turned it's back
No room left in hell
And when the battle is over
And this feeling is dead
I'll realize
That the war was always just in my head

I'll lie in my deathbed
I'll lie in my deathbed
Track Name: Selfish
Cause when I stare into the mirror
My reflection is all I see
Everything I hate
And everything I said I'd never be
I know you're disappointed
What the hell is wrong with me
I'm sorry I was so selfish
And all I ever cared about was me

I am an empty set of bones
Haunting these halls
You're everything I hate
Cause you're everything I'm not
And I thought that I could fix myself
But I guess I was wrong
I thought that I could change
But I guess I don't
I guess I don't belong
And when I'm gone
Just know you pushed me away
And it crosses my anxious mind every single fucking day
And can you save me from my self destructive ways
It's been six years and counting
And I still have no
Still have no regrets
For the mistakes I've made
Created the man I am today
Disconnected in the brain
I'm sorry I'm leaving again